"I don't want to start an argument but ..."

Have you ever noticed that when someone says the word "but", you can erase everything they said just before?

Today I got a comment that started off with "I don't want to start an argument but ..." which then went on to insult my intelligence and professionalism, and called me a scam artist if I didn't choose to take up his challenge! That's a strange way of going about not creating an argument (laugh).

If astrology "annoys" you, sir, don't visit astrological blogs. End of problem.

This blog isn't an open invitation to debate. If you wish to pursue that, I refer you happily to alt.astrology, a Usenet board that is full of those on both sides of the argument who have been energetically wasting each other's time with the same tired old arguments for the past 15 years.

Ladies: Four Questions not to ask an astrologer about men

Recently I got some comments, public and private, begging me to do readings again. It's mostly from women begging me to tell them about their true love and when he's going to change or will he change, or is he telling me the truth when he says he's just not into me?

I know I'm coming off as more Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura than Hug Bug at the moment, but I think a little tough love may be the higher choice, even if it means there are some hurt feelings.

Ladies, really! Do you want honest answers to the most commonly asked questions astrologers get about men? Okay, let me tackle the most common relationship questions I have gotten the past 20 years as an astrologer, and my common responses. Because I don't need to see the charts to know the answers to any of them.

Question 1:

Does he really love me?

I won't answer this question even if I get a strong impression. Ask him, not me. He knows his own heart better than any astrologer or psychic. If the answer is yes, then there isn't a problem. And if the answer is no ... then as hard as that is, at least you know. If it will injure your friendship, it's not a strong friendship in the first place, and you are better off knowing sooner rather than later. Asking me won't absolve you of the necessity of eventually asking him! And while it's rare, I could be wrong. My opinion might be entertaining or distracting, but in the end, irrelevant. There is just no reason to put it off. Ask him!

Question 2:

He says he just wants to be friends. Or he's not into me, won't marry me. Please tell me if this is really true.

What, do you really want me to tell you he's crazy or lying, that the relationship really will work out and that love conquers all? My heart sinks when I get these questions, because the way I see it, heartbreak is invariably in the forecast. There are two possible options here. Either he is telling the truth (and he likely is, if he's worthy of your love), or he's a crazy, indecisive liar. Ask yourself, is it really in your best interest to hang around waiting for a crazy, indecisive liar to make up his mind? The status quo may suck, but the alternative could be far worse in the long run. Take him at his word.

When a guy tells you "I don't love you" or "I just want to be friends" ... believe him, and if you truly love him, let him go. Remember that old saying ... If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. Oh, and don't wait around for him to come a knockin', there are plenty of fish in the ocean, go hook one worth the catching.

Question 3:

"When will he come back?" or "When will he leave his wife/the other woman and marry me?"

Ugh! I hate that question. You already know the answer is never ... hopefully! C'mon! We both know you deserve better! These boots were made for walkin' says it all.

Question 4:

"When will he change?"

Let me ask you a question ... did you hook up with or marry this guy, or a mental picture of who he was going to be when you "fixed" him? It's not him that really needs to change. He's not going to change in the vast majority of cases, the changing is going to be up to you. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. So the question really is whether you love him enough to accept him as he is, or is it better that you move on? I'm not answering that question for you, it's not my job. If it doesn't work out, next next time, remember to ask this question before you walk down the aisle (or exchange keys as the case may be): "Do I love him for who he really is, or for who I think I can make him into being?" ... if it is the latter, girls, that's control and it may be attachment, but it's not love.

I know that many astrologers make a good living answering these questions. Some will claim to be able to answer them accurately. Some will even tell you what you want to hear. You may even have an "ooh wow" moment when you get the reading as they tell you things about yourself that they shouldn't know. But in the end, the "ooh wow" moment doesn't change anything. What really might change something is if you take a deep, long look at yourself. Forget about "him" for the moment (especially if you are asking any of the above questions). How can you lead a happier, more fulfilling life? What is the best next step you can take for your own happiness? How can you make your relationship (this one or the next one) better and more fulfilling? Astrology can be a lot more useful answering those questions.

Strange comment on my blog regarding a big-name "competitor".

I rejected a comment today, because it has some harsh comments for a big-name competitor. I wanted to address those comments though, so I decided to post them to the blog with the competitor's name blanked out.

Real astrologers are being undermined by *********.com. They are co-opting you. They are buying up "name" astrologers and using them to front BS astrology for the real thing. You work hard to provide good information to people, but a few are after nothing but dollars at the cost of a living for astrologers and the integrity of the oldest science. You need to stand up, wake up, speak up. People like the Matrix guy are trying to make money at both ends = producing stuff for *********.com and selling you stuff, including selling you "BOOKS" that are offered for free on *********.com who is paying him for his information.

COME ON PEOPLE. This is important to astrology. We work hard to provide people with information that can improve their lives. These people are after NOTHING but dollars. Good to earn a living doing what we do, but to "rape" everyone and the art for the sake of a dollar ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, pLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLease.

Joe

Okay. Deep breath time.

First, I am neither a fan nor a detractor of *********.com. They have never approached me to write content for them, and I doubt they are aware of me. They have some good content there, periodically I refer to it on my Twitter page. But I have no connection to them and don't expect one. If they did come to me with a stack of money, I'd be happy to write for them.

I don't understand how what they are doing is "rape" and what we are doing is "good to earn a living doing what we do". The only difference it seems to me is that they are better at the "earning a living" part, because they have corporate support and marketing budgets, and we don't. More power to them!

The Law of Attraction is powered in the positive by gratitude and in the negative by envy, Joe. I wrote "competitor" in quotes in the title, because I really don't believe in "competition". It's an illusion. What *********.com is doing is making astrology more appealing and available to the masses. A rising tide floats all boats. As they build the market for our craft, more people are going to want the experience of seeing a qualified astrologer, or learning more about astrology for themselves at a deeper level. That means more business for you and me, and less encounters with Ms. Bible Thumper and her pal Mr. Rabid Skeptic.

I write horoscopes for one reason. It's all about the money. Not that there is a ton of it (grin) ... but if it wasn't paying, I'd close down the site and focus on my art instead. I have written clearly about the limitations of sun-sign horoscopes. I do them, because when I didn't do them, I got maybe 1% of the traffic I'm getting now. The same is true for pop-astrology sites like *********.com. We have to accept that the average person will never be interested in more than scratching the surface of what it is we do. Most of them don't even understand what it is we do.

Hidden in the large volume of those people there though are a few gems who really do want to learn more about astrology, who really do want to improve their lives and make a difference in the world. And you and I cannot reach them through a layer of bitterness about things we cannot change. I want to thank you for bringing this to my attention because that last sentence was as much for me as it may be for you.

May the stars be with you.

Brandi

No More Readings ...

I've decided to suspend the readings I've been doing on my blogs (http://astrologyca.blogspot.com/ and http://lwypg.blogspot.com/). My reasons are largely personal - I'm too busy with too many irons in the fire right now. I'll leave these blogs up though, and you can follow me at the following Twitter pages:

@bjasmine
@astrology_ca
@lwypg

You can also find me at these web sites:

www.bjasmine.com - www.astrology.ca
www.jasminecats.com - www.psychicprotection.net
www.niagaraspirit.com - www.onequestseminars.com

Which path should I take?

There are several possibilities in my life right now but I also have a chronic medical condition that leaves me with limited resources. Should I work towards finishing what I've started here (which hasn't been going well so far) or move on and take up something entirely different (and risky)?

TC

Dear TC,

Do you have something else in mind already? Or are you asking "should I jump out into the void" so to speak? I can see why both work and health are challenges for you. You have Saturn, Sun, Pluto and Venus in your 6th house of work/daily living. You are ambitious, but experience physical restrictions that have at times limited your growth. With all that stuff in Libra too, I would expect that the opinions of others factor heavily into your decision-making equations as well.

It's not your illness that is killing your dreams, it's all that people-pleasing. Right now your little Libra collection is Trine the trio of Chiron/Neptune and Jupiter, all of them in the 10th House of career and ambition.

I wager if you drop some of what Caroline Myss calls your "Pleaserites" - the folks who you are taking responsibility for - you will find that you suddenly have a whole lot more energy for following your dreams. Pluto is all about change, which works well for the idea of doing something dramatic, Jupiter in a big way. The Trine being in Air signs, it's going to be something creative or cerebral, something very different than you have done before. But Chiron is in there twice - your natal Chiron in the first house in Taurus speaks with a voice saying "Don't you really think you should be doing something a lot more practical?"

I don't think practical has been working for you. What you want is big and risky and nobody ever got to the end of life saying "Gee I wish I'd played it safe a lot more". I can't promise you success, what I can promise you is you won't be happy until you give your dreams a shot.

Brandi

Will I get a job soon?

Will I get a job soon?

CRH via Twitter

Hmmm ... I don’t know if I can answer your question “yes” or “no”. It’s more likely to be yes and no. What I mean by that is you have Uranus, a planet of instability and sudden changes, in your second house, square your natal moon, and it’s sensitive because you have Cancer on the cusp of your “work and daily life” sector.

What might work best for you is to look for more than one job that you can do freelance, out of your home. You have some signs of writing or communication ability, your chart pattern is very “other-focused”. I’m not surprised with a chart like this you have been in more than one country. You can parlay that experience into profits and perhaps some fame if you focus. But right now, you need to ride with and accept a wave of instability financially. That will likely continue for a while, so learn how you can make it work for you instead of against you.

What kind of work are you doing now? If you are not independently self-employed, in some kind of psychological or service-oriented field, that may give you some hints where the opportunities will arise.

Brandi

First impressions

What are your first impressions when you read my chart?

TZ

Dear TZ,

Normally I am looking for a more targeted question when I do these questions on my blog. I can only do so many free readings, it helps me to know what your area of interest is first. Otherwise I pick what interests me, and that may tell everyone more about me than it does you. You did not include a time of birth and that can severely limit the amount of information one can get from an astrological chart.

What I can say is you have Sun conjunct Neptune, which makes you very empathic and intuitive, but it is Saturn opposed Chiron that catches my eye. You have some forgiveness work to do with male authority figures in your family, fathers, uncles or male mentors from childhood.

Brandi

The Farting Guy

I decided to share this story today because of the astrological aspects that indicate a high level of hypersensitivity. I had just graduated from my first Lifestream class (warning: site plays music).

I was actually thinking how cool it was, how far I'd come, and a total stranger gets off a bus that I am getting onto. As he walks down the steps, he's making a face at me, and all of the old "He thinks I'm a fat, ugly, cow" programs crashed in on me. In the time it took for me to lift my foot off one step and put it down on the next, I must have shrunk three inches.

Then, as he passes me, he passes gas! He wasn't thinking about me at all. He was thinking "I gotta get off this bus before I let go of this massive fart!" ROFL! It was such a huge lesson, and it was so funny. Now I think about the farting guy whenever I find myself thinking I know what someone else is thinking about me. I may be sensitive, but I have to remind myself that my self-talk is often louder than my intuition.

Accepting Pluto Transits

From Twitter:

AstrologyLesson@Astrology_ca
But, if a bully is beating you, "accepting that" does not make the bully stop hitting. That is part of the equation.about 10 hours ago from web
in reply to Astrology_ca

I decided to answer you on my blog because I think this topic deserves more than 140 characters <g> ...

The problem with the analogy between Pluto and a bully are the judgments and issues we all have with bullies. As a survivor of peer abuse I know a lot about bullies. Bullies beat on you for a variety of motivations. They can be after power. They can have anger management issues. They may be abused at home themselves and are taking out frustration on you. In no case are they considering your higher good or well being. They have a desire, they go after it, and will make you suffer if they don't get their way. Sometimes, their only desire is to feel better about themselves through causing others pain.

While metaphors are useful to a point, we need to remember that Pluto has none of these motivations. Pluto is not after self gain. And the idea is not to bring pain. Pain may be our reaction to the events we experience, but a great deal of the time, that pain is entirely self caused by our resistance to the changes Pluto is bringing, changes we have chosen to experience at a higher level, but that our ego is resisting in the physical. Pluto's job is to break down our egoic attachments so we can grow (I highly recommend Eckhardt Tolle's book "A New Earth" - this link has a free audio version courtesy of Oprah).

Good examples - A man needs to lose weight but resists making the lifestyle changes that could speed up the process. So Pluto in his 6th house brings on an ulcer that forces him onto a restrictive diet. A woman refuses to dump her abusive boyfriend but stays because she fears living alone. Pluto in the 7th brings a nasty divorce. On some level, if we are honest, often the changes Pluto brings are things we desire, or at least know are in our best interests. Caroline Myss once said (paraphrasing) that part of the job our angels have is to cause necessary chaos in our lives to wake us up. That's a very Plutonian concept. Her example was of a person who knows they need to leave a job (2nd, 6th or 8th house) and refuses to do so. They get more and more humiliation, more workplace abuse, or actually get fired, because they refuse to leave on their own volition. But in the end, the chaos is a blessing because it opens up an opportunity for them to do what they truly desired all along.

So by acceptance I do not mean "fail to take action". It's action Pluto is calling for, 9 times out of 10! It's our refusal to act that brings more pain. By all means take action if you can. The point I was making originally is that sometimes action isn't possible, or that we continue with the same response even though it isn't effective. Some conditions one cannot change. Take Nelson Mandela, imprisoned for years. He said "Resentment is like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die". He could not escape the prison physically, but he would not allow his mind to be imprisoned in resentment.

The Dalai Lama once said (paraphrasing) that if you have a worry or a fear, there are only two options. If you can do something, do that thing. If not, accept your circumstances. Remember in the Law of Attraction that what you focus on you expand - if you focus on hating the changes Pluto brings you and resisting them, you will only bring more of what you hate.

During a particularly brutal Pluto transit over my Asc, my entire life changed because of an unwanted psychic experience. This was an incredibly painful time in my life. I was terrified at first. I'd been raised as a fundamentalist Pentecostal ("holy roller") ... you just didn't turn up psychic one day. I ended up being estranged from virtually my entire family - it is still a tender point between my mother and I. The worst part was losing my faith - I could handle losing my family, but it was like I also lost God for a time. I felt utterly alone, abandoned and confused.

I wanted to know "why" this happened to me, because it seemed so pointless at the time. I threw myself into studies of religion, metaphysics, etc., and became virtually obsessed with the initial event. The more I fought against it, the worse and more negative my psychic experiences became. Finally I chose for the sake of my sanity to accept that this was going to happen, and that I might never know "why". That was my first step into the positive use of these abilities. I began to rebuild my faith in a new way. I found others and started to help them through their experiences, which is now one of the central joys of my life. When people read Living With Your Psychic Gifts and write to me saying they are in tears just to find someone who understands, it makes every minute of my own experience tremendously meaningful. I have finally found the "why" ... but I would never have discovered it if I had not accepted it.

If we view Pluto as an evil bully who is out there to rape, pillage and cause us pain, then that's exactly how we'll experience those transits. They aren't fun, but they represent absolutely critical stages in our personal growth. That being said, I am definitely looking forward to Pluto leaving my 2nd house! (laugh).

Many blessings,

Brandi Jasmine (AKA @Astrology_ca).

Capricorn and Libra in Love

Today's "Ask An Astrologer" question comes from a Twitter follower who wants to know if she is compatible with her boyfriend. She's a Libra, Aquarius Rising, and he's a Capricorn, with Moon Opposed to Sun.

As I mention in the related video, it's hard to make a compatibility assessment without both charts - but I like to have permission from both parties to do that. Since this request is more or less anonymous, and I don't have his full data, what I can say is that it's a myth Capricorn and Libra don't get along. I love my Capricorns, they are the spice of life for me! A Libra myself, I have Scorpio Rising, and Scorpio adores Capricorn. It's more about the gestalt of the chart, the Sun Sign is only part of the picture. The Moon, Venus, Mars and Saturn are the other points you want to look at. Why Saturn? It tells you if the relationship will have staying power.

From what I can see of your chart and know of his, I think the big issue will be his "Mom" issues. Sun opposed Moon is "mother trouble". When you are in a relationship with someone, you bring their family into your life, love them or hate them. In a new relationship, it can be easy to walk away from a man if you can't stand his mother - not so easy if you are together and committed. I don't know where you are at with that, but it should be an important factor in your considerations. Do you get along with his Mom? Does he get along with his Mom? However that looks now, it's not likely to change. If you can live with that, God bless you ... and if you can't, then you have a lot of thinking to do.



In your chart you have a strong T-Square between Mars, Uranus and Chiron. This means that you will tend to draw men (Mars) who are unstable, avant guarde or unusual (Uranus), who give you life lessons (Chiron). That's not going to change if you dump this guy and go looking for someone else (which wasn't what you asked me). I highly recommend this class ... and if you can't get to the class (which is worth every penny even if you have to travel, imo), then check out this book: Controlling Others for Love and Profit or this CD set: Get Over Yourself by James Roswell Quinn. He facilitates the class, and the book/CD is the next best thing to going to the class. Your chart says d stress management is a recurring theme in your life, and there is nothing better that I have found so far (speaking from personal experience).

Brandi

will i succeed in politics?

will i succeed in politics? when?
will i become a chief minister or minister? when?

V

Dear V,

I often edit the posts I get for questions, I clean up the grammar and the capitalization but in this case I left your message exactly intact because I wanted to point something out. Do you see how you have not capitalized your sentences, the titles or the "I"? I assume you do not do this in formal writing, but here writing to me your guard is down, and this suggests to me that you mentally make yourself small (or perhaps you are deliberately doing that?). This can manifest as shyness, and that, coupled with the strong Neptune together with ASC in Pisces tells me that while you may use your strong thinking and willpower to succeed, it is in the arts or counseling where your heart may lie. You may be drawn to politics to save the world, to heal others or to make the world a better place, and these are all laudable goals. Do you have the hard nosed ambition to succeed in politics? Perhaps. Sun in the 10th house conjunct Neptune makes you extremely charismatic.

I do have to say my empathic sense is telling me this is something of a trick question, or perhaps you have not recognized your own success as yet? Are you already successful in politics? Or is it that you have measured your success solely in terms of the titles you have (or have not) accumulated to date? Don't sell the "service" contributions short! You have a strongly humanitarian chart. Stay focused on service to humanity and you will succeed in ways you can't begin to imagine.

(More in the video!)



Brandi

Is there a real astrologer on staff?

I've loved your site for many years, but this year I've noticed that the horoscopes are repeating. Is there a real astrologer on staff or have you moved more towards entertainment?

E

Thank you for writing. There is a real astrologer on staff, that's me :-). I do cast charts for the horoscopes. But after 4-5 years of writing horoscopes I find that the same patterns repeat themselves, and it is hard to come up with new ways of saying the same thing, and it takes a huge amount of time to write horoscopes on a daily basis. I have created a program that links up the day's energy pattern for the Moon together with interpretations written over the past few years, and it creates a database of horoscopes that pulls the right interpretation for that day's energy. I periodically add new interpretations to those files as time permits. It is rare that a horoscope repeats for the same sun-sign (about once every 2-3 years per sign, and then rarely in the same sign), and if you are seeing more than that, please let me know as there could be some error with my database.

Where it comes to horoscopes though, frankly ALL horoscopes are entertainment, I have never viewed them as more than that and have always encouraged our readers to do so as well. See: http://tinyurl.com/bjsunsigns.

Horoscopes are fun and entertaining, people enjoy them, but I expect no one to take them seriously, mine or anyone else's. Serious astrology is far more detailed and in-depth and while horoscopes do help fund Astrology.ca, Adsense is not bringing in a huge amount of money, and I have found most readers aren't interested in purchasing things from the site. So my payoff is really the enjoyment I get from producing the content. Automating the delivery has freed up a huge amount of time for me to redesign the site, and to bring in fresh new content and services to this and my other sites. I hope people enjoy the horoscopes, and that will bring people in to learn more about astrology for themselves. In the next while, as the new site continues to build, I hope to bring in more tutorials and lessons to help readers cast and read their own charts in detail.

One thing new that I am doing is the Astrology_ca account at Twitter. http://twitter.com/astrology_ca ... there I do daily interpretations of what is going on astrologically in the moment. I go there once or twice a day and those interpretations and comments are written daily on the fly. I also take questions and comments there and on my blog at http://astrologyca.blogspot.com/.

Christian Astrology?

My mother sent me the most intriguing video, a possible Christian explanation of astrology that I just had to share here with you. I pick only one nit with this fellow, and that is that I believe the Hebrews learned about astrology (and carried away many other things) from the Babylonians, rather than the other way around. I agree with the essence of this lecture however, and applaud this pastor for his studies of astrology.

Update: As of February 22, I can no longer find the video on the site where it first appeared. I hope that this does not reflect censorship on the part of Tangle, the Christian site where this video appeared. The only videos I can find there now are decidedly negative about astrology. A true shame if that site is censoring its contributors this way ... if anyone has seen that video on YouTube or the like, let me know so we can embed it here again.